4angels’s Weblog

Natapos na naman ang isang school year…ang bilis talaga ng panahon!  pero bago ang aming graduation, na-stress talaga ako kaya pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng graduation ako ay nagkasakit.  ito na yata ang pinaka-stressful na graduation para sa kin, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero pagod na pagod ako pagkatapos…apat na araw din akong tulog ng tulog at hindi gumawa sa bahay.  siguro ngayon ko naramdaman ang pagod sa sampung buwan ng klase at araw-araw na trabaho sa bahay….laba, luto, plantsa, linis.  sinabayan pa ng “excitement” sa paparating naming bakasyon at pag-aalala sa aking kalusugan kaya mixed emotions talaga.  feeling ko nga magkakaron ako ng “anxiety attack” nung araw ng aming graduation sa sobrang dami ng nararamdaman sa katawan.  simula pa kasi nung isang taon, may nararamdaman na kong masakit sa kanang bahagi ng aking tiyan at bandang likuran at madalas din sumakit ang aking tiyan, parang laging sinisikmura kaya naisip ko baka may gallstones or kidney stones ako.  hinintay ko muna matapos ang klase bago ako nagpunta sa doktor para kung sakaling ooperahan ako wala na akong klase.  tatlong araw din akong nagpabalik-balik sa ospital pero sa awa ng Dyos wala naman nakita, sa madaling salita, lahat ng aking internal organs ay maayos naman pati na rin ang aking ovaries.  pero hanggang ngayon nararamdaman ko pa rin ang sakit sa kanang bahagi ng aking tiyan at madalas pa rin akong sikmurain kaya naisip ko na lang na magpatingin pag-uwi sa Pilipinas at baka sakaling makahanap ng kasagutan sa aking nararamdaman.  Sa ngayon ang mahalaga nasa maayos na kondisyon ang aking mga laman-loob dahil ito rin ang aking kinatatakutan.  At dahil wala naman nakitang karamdaman sa aking katawan, syempre hindi na ako excuse sa mga gawaing bahay 😦 kaya balik na ulit ako sa aking pangalawang trabaho…taga-linis, taga-luto, taga-laba at taga-plantsa!  Pero ganado naman ako ngayon dahil labing anim na araw na lang, lilipad na kami papuntang Pilipinas…yehey!!!

I don’t know why I’m so affected by Francis Magalona’s death…every time there’s a tribute for him I find myself crying.  I’m not really a big fan of him kasi hindi naman ako mahilig sa rap songs but for the past 2 years I’ve been a regular visitor of his blog.  Maybe this is the reason why I feel this way kasi feeling ko naging part na sya ng buhay ko for the past 2 years.  Until now kahit patay na sya, i still click his blog in my bookmarks, naging everyday routine ko na kasi na bisitahin ang blog nya.  Like what I’ve said earlier, i’m not a big fan of rap songs but I find his music inspiring.  every time i listen to his songs, i feel so proud being Pinoy lalo na the very famous “Mga Kababayan ko.”  I really admire kung paano nya isulong ang pagiging makabayan at kung paano nya i-promote ang ating bansa.  I don’t know him personally pero nakikita ko sa kanya na sya ay isang mabuting ama sa kanyang mga anak.  I saw how responsible and loving he was to his wife and his 8 children.  sayang nga lang at maaga syang kinuha ni Lord but I do believe he has lived his life to the fullest!  Sana lang naibigay sa kanya ng gobyerno ang recognition ng sya’y nabubuhay pa.  Nevertheless, he deserves this posthomous award they are giving him.

We salute you Kiko!  thank you for the music and the inspiration to be proud of who we are!!!  Rest in the presence of the Lord!

goodbye 2008…hello 2009!!!  there’s so much to be thankful for…good health, blissful marriage, strong faith in the Lord, hope & strength in difficult times, healing for every sickness in the family, and so much more!  Words are not enough to thank the Lord for His faithfulness, goodness, patience, and  provisions.  I’m always looking forward to a new year…I know in my heart, no matter what happens, God’s grace and love will uphold me.

A BLESSED NEW YEAR TO ALL…for those who have lost hope and faith, may the Lord renew a steadfast spirit in you…for those who don’t have peace in their hearts, may you find peace which transcends all human understanding in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Today is my twins’ bithrday!  I gave birth to them exactly 5 years ago…it was also a Sunday when I delivered them at exactly 28 weeks.  Sadly, they are now with their creator.  The boy, John Adriel lived for only 10 hours because he was the weakest and the smallest (400 grams).  The girl, Caitlyn Elise who weighed in at 650 grams lived for 1 month in the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) of Dammam Maternity Hospital.  It’s difficult for me to remember what happened…parang sobrang bilis kasi ng mga pangyayari and very painful.  I visited her in NICU every single day…my husband would drop me off in the hospital at around 2:30 after my class and I would stay with her until 7 pm.  Naghihintay lang ako sa labas ng NICU and i would go in every 30 minutes to check on herShe died on December 22 and the night before she died the nurse told us to say our goodbyes because she wouldn’t make it through the night…she contacted a severe infection, very prone kasi sa infection ang premature babies specially with Elise kasi she was so tiny.  We couldn’t even carry her, we were just allowed to touch her and it was heaven for me.  Parang madudurog ang puso ko when I said goodbye to her.  At around midnight the nurse called to inform us that our baby died.  I cried buckets of tears during her one month stay here on earth, however, i was grateful and thankful for the times spent with her kahit i was not able to hold her in my arms.  Sabi nga sa word of God, “in everything give thanks,” even in trials and hardships dapat magpasalamat tayo sa Panginoon.  Kahit hindi ako nabigyan ng chance na makasama at palakihin sya, nagpapasalamat ako sa Panginoon kasi naramdaman ko kung paano maging isang ina and this is a huge thing for me and my husband.  That’s why every year I celebrate their birthday pati na rin birthday ng iba ko pang anak…I already have 4 angels in heaven and I know someday, in God’s time, I will see them in God’s kingdom.
Here’s a poem for you my precious angels…

The Master Gardener from Heaven above
planted a seed in the Garden of Love.
And from it grew a rosebud small
that never had time to open at all.

For God in His perfect and all-wise way
chose this rose for His heavenly bouquet.
And great was the joy of this tiny rose
to be the one our Father chose
to leave earth’s garden for one on high
where roses bloom and never die…
So, while we can’t see our precious rose bloom,
We know the Great Gardener from the “Upper Room”
is watching and tending this wee rose with care,
tenderly touching each petal so fair…
We’ll think of our darling with angels above
secure and content and surrounded by love.
And remember that God blessed and enriched
our lives too… for in dying, our darling
brought Heaven closer to us.

Happy, happy bithday my precious babies…John Adriel and Caitlyn Elise Mijares Agustin.

We love you dearly!!!

today I am commemorating the birth of my 4th child Jericho Lucas whom I miscarried 4 years ago at 20 weeks of gestation (5 months).  I may not understand why God took you but I know someday I will see you again.

Just those few weeks
by Susan Erling
For those few weeks I had you all to myself.
And that seems too short a time to be changed so profoundly
In those few weeks I came to know you …and love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks when I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes, plans, dreams and aspirations….
a slice of my future simply vanished over night.
You were just those few weeks my little one,
you darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that’s all the time you needed to make my life
so much richer and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

a very good friend shared with me a very touching song from a popular Christian band in the states, “Mercy Me,” entitled…HOMESICK.

I cried while listening to the song because it reminded me of my 4 precious angels waiting for me in heaven.

You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you
But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don’t understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I’ll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I’m still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in
Christ, there is no end
So I’ll hold onto
Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow

I’ve never been more homesick than now

on mother’s day we decided to take our moms for a day tour at The Farm in San Benito, Batangas. umalis kami ng 7am sa bahay para before 9am nasa The Farm na kami para sulit naman ang ibabayad namin kasi very pricey ang day tour nila, 950++ (12% service charge and 10% vat). buffet lunch is included as well as free use of swimming pool. syempre excited ang mga moms dahil wala silang idea kung saan namin sila dadalhin. kami pa lang mag-asawa ang nakakita sa place kasi we went there a few days before Mother’s day para to see the place at magpa-reserve na rin. unfortunately, pagdating namin sa Lipa biglang sinalubong kami ng super heavy traffic! halos hindi talaga gumagalaw ang sasakyan dahil sinara nila ang main hi-way to give way sa isang sports event so nagkabuhol-buhol talaga ang mga sasakyan. ang tanging daan na papunta sa The Farm ay sarado at after 12 noon pa raw magbubukas kaya sobrang inis namin! nakapagtanong kami sa isang pulis kung meron pa bang ibang daan papuntang The Farm at tinuro nya sa min kung saan pwedeng dumaan…it was about past 10 am already at almost 2hrs kaming na-stuck sa traffic. we were so happy kasi biglang naglaho ang traffic sa tinuro nyang daan sa amin kaya lang after almost an hour of journey ay wala pa kaming nakikitang karatulang pointing to The Farm. nagtanong ulit kami at sabi ng aming napagtanungan mali daw ang aming tinahak na daan dahil sa lipa city lang daw ang daan papuntang The Farm. we were so frustrated dahil gutom na kami at kailangan ng gumamit ng CR so nag-decide kami na huminto sa isang bahay para magtanong at para makigamit na rin ng CR. Tama nga ang sinabi ng babae sa amin na mali ang aming dinaanan, pero sabi ng aming napagtanungan na fortunately ay isang city engineer at may relative na nagtatrabaho sa The Farm meron daw shortcut na papuntang The Farm na malapit lang sa kanila. Ito daw ay back entrance ng The Farm. To cut the long story short, natunton namin ang back gate ng The Farm and thank God dahil may nakabantay dun so all we had to do was show him our reservation slip at kami’y pinapasok nya. Kaya super happy kami at very thankful dahil the Lord guided us in finding the place. it was 11 am when we got to the place and we were famished so excited kami sa lunch although aware naman kami na vegetarian dish lang ang sine-serve nila. pagdating namin we were served with fresh buco juice na hindi malamig. syempre may baon kaming food but unfortunately bawal palang magdala ng food. so we decided to return the food in the car except for our water na pwede naman. after a few minutes, nag start na ang guided tour. the place is amazing, very quiet at talagang mare-relax ka. di masyadong nag-enjoy ang moms sa tour kasi super init so we decided to head straight to the dining area for lunch kasi gutom na talaga kami. we had to wait for almost an hour for lunch to be served kasi hindi pa ready and during the waiting time, we were all very anxious to try vegan meal. medyo nae-excite kami kasi naaamoy namin ang bawat food na nilalabas from the kitchen. when it was time to start the meal, syempre soup muna kami so lahat kami kumuha ng soup at isang subo pa lang halos iluwa na ng aming bibig! it was very spicy and the main ingredient was labanos…korean style daw ang luto. so the soup was bad, pero may main dish pa naman eh so pila ulit kami para sa main dish, syempre halos kinuha namin lahat para matikman. kaya lang halos wala kaming nakain sa aming kinuha. i love veggies more than meat pero hindi ko talaga makain ang food nila, it has a very distinct taste na halos hindi ayaw tanggapin ng aking dila at tiyan. i have nothing against their food, alam ko may kanya-kanya tayong panlasa, maaring sa iba they find the food great pero para sa amin na first time naka-encounter ng ganung lasa talagang hindi namin nagustuhan. siguro pag palaging ganun ang kakainin ko my tastebuds will get used to it but for first timers talagang mahirap kainin. medyo bumawi kami sa dessert, kakaiba din dessert nila kasi very healthy din, halos lahat ng dish nila ay may coconut. i guess very healthy talaga ang coconut. and no cold drinks in this place, room temperature lang ang water. bawal din mag smoke at there are areas na bawal ang cell phones. it’s really a unique place, if you want total cleansing or to detoxify then this is the place for you. but watch out, it will cost you a fortune! Then after lunch dinaan na lang namin sa swimming ang aming gutom…ang ganda ng kanilang mini waterfalls, super lamig ng tubig kaya napawi ang init ng ulo namin…hehehe! so kahit hindi kami nag-enjoy sa lunch super enjoy naman kami sa swimming. part of our mother’s day gift sa aming mommies ay bigyan sila ng one hour full body massage which they enjoyed very much! syempre ako din nagpa-massage, it was one the best massages i ever had! We left the place at exactly 5pm and on our way home we had dinner at gerry’s grill in SM Lipa to satisfy our hunger.

will I go back to this place? definitely yes!!! I would like to try their sulu cottages pero sabi ko nga sa aking asawa, pag meal time, we’ll just go to Lipa to eat then just use the place para mag-relax. great idea, right?!